This year, one of my goals is to read one book in one month and I started this goal with the book by David Richo – Five True Things.
These five true things were not identified to have a negative truth about life. Just like other things, these five true things are some of the facts in life that we don’t have much control of but most likely we will experience. We can view these things, either positively or negatively, depending on our response to the environment. These can be blessings in disguise, or just unfortunate luck we will strike along our journey.
“Givens can be embraced with an unconditional yes to that which is, without subjective protests, an acceptance of the conditions of existence… an acceptance of my own nature as I happen to be.”Carl Jung
When these things happen, acceptance is one of the things that can help us move forward and recognize that we don’t hold a golden ticket to be exempted from the givens of life.
1.) Everything changes and ends
“Everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay.”Matthew Flickstein
Everything changes – our interest, our body, our relationship with people, our relationship with our self, our career even the world around us change. Everything changes.
If you are suffering in life, this truth is comforting. It gives you hope for a better tomorrow. That your suffering will end and the situation will change. On the other hand, if you are having the best time of your life, this truth will make you more present at the moment and become grateful for what is happening around you. Because you are aware, things will change and things will end.
Change and end, no matter how hard we avoid, will come right outside our door and it can be painful. That is why only courageous people can say yes to change and make the most out of it.
Facing this truth in life and saying yes to change and ending is challenging because it will put us in a situation that we are not familiar with and as human beings, we always crave familiarity. Sometimes, we hold on to things that we need to let go because we are afraid of change.
Although, everything changes and ends, things renew themselves and move through cycles that further evolution.
2. Things do not always go according to plan.
“I am prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.”Benjamin Disraeli
As we grow, we learn that planning saves us a lot of troubles – be it for school presentations, our weekend getaway with friends, our career path, and our life. Planning gives us a sense of security knowing that we are in control of how things are going to be. Being able to follow our plans give us a sense of power and motivation to continue living life.
The difficult part comes when we put our effort and things go out of hand. Our initial reaction when things go the other way is to establish control. And it is okay. We can continue to execute our plan into the things we still can change, but how about things that are beyond our savings?
Acknowledging that there is a greater power than our mind during a crisis requires so much maturity. When we accept that no matter how detailed we are in our plan, our access to our mind is very limited and sometimes, things just don’t always go according to plan.
“Sometimes God makes better choices for us than we could have ever made for ourselves.“Jennifer Hudson
Although things do not always go according to plan, we sometimes sense a larger plan at work through synchronicity that opens startling possibilities.
3. Life is not always fair.
“Fairness does not mean everyone gets the same. Fairness means everyone gets what they need.”Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
“Life is unfair!” We heard it and have said it several times in our life. Sometimes, we don’t give fairness to others, and sometimes we were taken advantage of by the people we cared about. Life is just unfair. We give but sometimes, it is not appreciated. We do good things, but sometimes no one acknowledges. We show love and care, but we still get left behind.
When we are in this situation where we feel that injustice is being served to us, we feel that retaliation is the answer. We need to get back to people who made us feel the pain and unfairness. We feel that revenge makes up for the loss.
The challenge of facing this truth is to step back and have the mindfulness to forgive, to choose reconciliation instead of retaliation, and to recognize the unfair action and to not judge its source. Mindfulness and spiritual values are required in dealing with this given of life because if we rely on our psychological mind, we are programmed to fight back for survival. It takes moral consciousness to forgive those who are not sorry for how they have offended us.
“May I be fair in all my dealings and generous in all my giving, and may I ask for fairness from others but not demand it or punish them if they fail to show it to me.”David Richo
Although life is not always fair, something in us remains committed to fairness and refuses to be unjust or retaliatory.
4 Pain is part of life.
There are many forms of pain such as physical pain, emotional and spiritual. All pain results in suffering before change happens.
“Pain is not a punishment and happiness is not a reward. They are simply features of any existence.”David Richo
I once saw a video that states: emotional pain lasts only for 20 minutes. The pain and suffering after that are self-inflicted. When we are suffering, we tend to self-pity. We associate our ego to the suffering which in effect gives us more reason to blame others, to feel shame, and to obsess over our suffering and making the whole situation worse.
The challenge here is to liberate ourselves from the idea that we are only here to receive good things in life. Pain is essential for us to grow. Pain is a redirection to the journey that we must take to lead us to the life that is intended for us.
“Sometimes the divine asks too much of us.”Carl Jung
But even if we work hard on ourselves, sometimes the pain that we experience is too much for us. That’s when humility takes its place, in accepting the truth that we need people in our life to support us in difficult times. Even the most daring hero is sometimes defeated and has to rely on others for rescue.
“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change. “Tony Robins
Although pain is part of life, we have ways of dealing with it and thereby we expand our powers to handle future pain and help others in their pain.
5 People are not loving and loyal all the time
“Those who don’t know the value of loyalty can never appreciate the cost of betrayal. “Anonymous
As we journey in life, we meet dishonest people, haters, people who abandoned friendships and never keep their promises to their loved ones, and as adults, we stride with it.
When betrayal is common; loyalty becomes rare. Sometimes people act from real to being strange. Some people will like us; some people will not. Some will comfort us; some will be comfortable talking behind our backs. Some people will forget favors and become your haters.
This is a truth of life. No matter how people treat you, you must accept the fact that these are only varieties of humans. How people treat you and think of you doesn’t determine your worth. Be mindful and remember that your worth can be only be determined by you.
No human being was ever loved or treated respectfully by everyone.
Our challenge is to become self-nurturant – it is to find some of what we need within ourselves. To put ourselves in the list of people who needs our love and care.
As they say, we can’t give what we don’t have so it is necessary to be in love with ourselves and establish a foundation of our being so when people change and become not as loving as before, we can still support yourself.
Although people are not loving and loyal all the time, nothing has to get in the way of our acting with loving-kindness and not giving up on others. No human action can take away another human being’s capacity to love.